Every time I go into the bathroom on the main floor of my house, I close the door.
Sometimes I hesitate. I may have just been in a conversation with someone. I’m just going to be in there for a minute.
I almost leave the door open.
If I’ve been talking to one of my daughters or playing with my grandkids, I think “I could just keep listening to them, if I kept the door open.”
If I’ve been drinking coffee with my partner, I hesitate to shut the door.
If there’s a gathering in the living room, I could leave that door open and listen in. I wouldn’t miss as much. I’m always missing some interesting tidbits when my attention is elsewhere.
An open door is a connection. I should stay connected.
Then I remember how great it feels to close the bathroom door and be alone in a quiet room.
This is a nice little bathroom. A few pictures are on the wall. Flowers in a vase. Not much junk in here. A big cabinet to hide the junk that is there.
When I close that door, it always reminds me of boundaries.
I know that it’s a privilege to shut out the world with the closing of a door. This is not a privilege I take lightly.
In a public space I definitely close the door to the bathroom.
In a friend’s home I also close the door.
My boundaries are different in different places and with different people.
Can you close a door without guilt?
Sometime you too may choose to close a door, to set a boundary.
For breathing space, for rest, for silence,
to protect yourself, or to invest in yourself.
Some doors and some boundaries close only for a few minutes. Others for a long long time.
Often there are many reasons not to set a boundary and still you may decide to go ahead and close that door. (If there are no toddlers who need to be corralled, I support this decision)!
The point is, it’s your choice.
You can trust yourself to choose which doors to close.
If you struggle with choosing your boundaries and following through and you want some help with this, call for an appointment. The right support can make a big difference!
I see clients in my office in Denver, Colorado or on a video conference.
Lisa Yaeger, LPC